1983 G.I. Joe Tossed a Hand Grenade at My Other Childhood Toys
Story by Destro Designs – Viper Den Studios
As big of a fan of G.I. Joe as I am, I missed out on the first year of G.I. Joe releases in 1982. I was too young, with minimal exposure—only Breaker and Scarlett—so it slipped by.
But when I saw Destro and Snake Eyes, it was on like Donkey Kong. I remember wanting all eight that were displayed, but initially I only walked out with those two.
It was an obvious shift, even to my parents. I had He-Man and some other random toys, but Snake Eyes hunting Destro held my full attention. They moved better than Star Wars figures and looked waaay cooler than He-Man. I tried to make He-Man’s Ram Chariot work for the Joes, but alas, I forged on without it because it sucked. When I wasn’t actively playing with the figures, I was staring at the card art, looking at all the other releases. It drove me to say to my parents, “What can I do to get these?”
I’m pretty sure the next figures I got were a Cobra Trooper, Major Bludd, Tripwire, and Cobra Commander. It was a melee of all sorts of head canon until the Sunbow cartoon kicked off. All kinds of weird choices—the Trooper was Cobra Commander’s personal bodyguard, Tripwire’s metal detector shot lightning out of it—you name it. Gung-Ho, Snow Job, and the Cobra Officer came next. The stage was set for epic battles.
Then everything changed with the arrival of the mail-away Duke, the Joe APC, the F.A.N.G., and the coolest-designed thing ever—the H.I.S.S.
The H.I.S.S. truly is the coolest-looking damn thing. Its jutting nose cockpit, with a blast-proof windshield, just looked so freaking sleek with a figure in the front and another behind the cannons. Really insanely amazing.
Now the Joes had a troop carrier—a battle-ready monster that floated—and Cobra had speed and air superiority.
Everything about the figures and the vehicles was perfect to me. I’ve referenced it before—it’s like G.I. Joe is a key that unlocks a place in my mind where my imagination exploded with hair-raising ideas revolving around these toys.
1983 was just the beginning, and each year holds a special place and hits its own notes in the symphony that is my years of being an obsessed G.I. Joe fan.
Up next: 1984.
